A great big THANK YOU to all my friends who sent me chain letters in 2003...
Because of those chain letters my life has changed...
I stopped drinking Coca Cola after finding it's only good for removing toilet stains.
I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
I've stopped answering the phone for fear that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.
I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
I've stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
When I go to parties I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl who was about to die in hospital about 7,000 times. Funny, that girl's been 7 years old since 1993.
I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are supposed to send me when I participated in their special email program.
My Ericsson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.
BUT I AM POSITIVE THAT ALL OF THIS IS BECAUSE OF A STINKING CHAIN THAT I BROKE OR FORGOT TO FOLLOW, AND NOW I'VE GOT THE CURSE FROM HELL....
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this email to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a pigeon will poop on you today at precisely 7pm.